But today, as I struggled once again to conjure up any valuable insight or recall a worthwhile lesson it dawned on me that I was attempting to magically orchestrate a memory worth documenting. With recent happenings deemed blog unworthy or recent events too raucous to be considered blog friendly I was searching more distant memories but I failed to feel the emotion that fuels my writing.
I quickly realized I could not scheme up a memory – the best memories spontaneously occur when I least expect it.
As if spurred from a cue life threw me some witticism… a memory worth reliving… a story commendable of publishing…
With Winter Formal this weekend I began my usual preparations – repeatedly inquiring about Riley’s plans (getting these kids to decide on definite times and places is torture), attempting to subconsciously influence where to go for dinner and coolly providing him with topics for easy small talk, nonchalantly reminding Riley of proper “date etiquette” (open doors, pay for dinner, don’t text when she’s talking, look her in the eye, ask her to dance, hold her hand, etc.), casually probing about his date’s personality (where did you meet her, is she talkative, are you really dating a cheerleader??).
Riley is not a planner (I can assume a trait he has picked up from his father) so I tried to be patient but there were a few details I had to see were taken care of. Clothes had to be ironed, a tie had to be purchased and a wrist corsage had to be ordered.
I texted Riley on Thursday to confirm he wanted a wrist corsage for his date… after all, it’s been nearly 20 years since I was in high school and I had no idea if corsages were still a tradition. Riley, of course, had no idea what a wrist corsage was so after a brief explanation and a text to his girlfriend it was deemed that she did indeed want a corsage, confirming the tradition holds true to present day. But before I could start my internet search for the perfect flowers I fielded a phone call from a very confused teenager…
“Mom, you got my text that Natalie does want a wrist thingy, right? Well, she asked me if I wanted this one thing that I can’t even pronounce but I have no idea what she’s talking about…”
“A boutonniere?” I chuckled.
“YES! What the heck is that?”
I explained and then he asked ME, “So, do I want one?”
I told him he’s look awfully funny without one.
It’s just a good thing this conversation took place between Riley and me. Laughing at Riley’s naivety I conveyed this dialogue to Roger and he claims his response would have been something along these lines:
“Whoa, your girlfriend asked you if you wanted a boutonniere already? What kind of date is this and what kind of girl are you taking to this dance? You must have really scored because your Mom and I have been married for a long time and she’s never offered to give me a boutonniere?”
I’m pretty sure I’d be getting a very angry phone call from a parent tonight if parenting were left entirely up to Roger.
But with me interceding on this conversation I felt comfortable sending Riley out on his own. Approximately 2 hours before Winter Formal commenced we had some definite plans. Riley and Natalie would meet for dinner at a close by neighborhood restaurant. They’d have to go alone – just the two of them because of the late hour (Natalie had been at a cheerleading event in Eugene all day). I would pick them up after dinner and drive them to the dance. Natalie’s parents would take them home - a strategic move on their part to be certain.
It dawned on me that having a teenage girl will be entirely different from having a teenage boy when Roger declared that he would absolutely have to meet any and all boys prior to Hope leaving our house on a date, albeit without any such demands as Riley left our house to meet this mystery girl for this particular date.
Riley was undoubtedly nervous. This was his first real date as just a boy and a girl – a shy girl and an even shier boy. I had to apply some last minute deodorant under an already buttoned, tucked in shirt. I missed his armpits, covered his arms and brushed his chin with the deodorant. We laughed hysterically. I doused him with cologne. Roger tied his tie and we were off. Riley’s breathing was heavy – a sure sign of his nerves.
We dropped our bundle of nerves off at the restaurant, trying to covertly catch a glimpse of his girlfriend. My heart sank as I watched him enter the restaurant and shake hands with none other than Natalie’s parents. Another strategic (and smart) move on their part. But my babe was already nervous. That had to be torture.
We reluctantly made our way to McDonalds to let the little ones exert their rambunctious energy and await our cue to pick up the teenagers and drop them off at the dance. I desperately wanted to jump back in the truck, park in the restaurant lot and commence on a little innocent spying. Were they talking? Had I given Riley enough topics to get him through dinner? Was he texting? Did Natalie’s parents stay at the restaurant while they ate?
I begrudgingly refrained. I waited for my text and was off like a 911 call when it came. Despite my prompting to open the car door for a girl Riley prompted Natalie to get in the front and he sat in the back. Awkward – yes! I had prepared the car so they both could sit in the back. Obviously, he was too nervous to listen. Conveniently the school was a mere ¼ mile down the road because it turns out I was a bundle of nerves myself. I get WAY into this sort of thing… wanting it to all work out just perfectly without any of those awkward moments… which just leaves me babbling and clouds my judgment.
Riley got in the car with his boutonniere in hand. The teenagers couldn’t figure out how to secure it to Riley’s shirt. So, when we got to the school we all got out and I demanded Riley allow me to attach it. It took a few tries – like I said, it’s been a while. But we got the flower secured and they were off – thanking me for the ride. As I pulled away I realized that I made Riley’s poor date stand in the drizzle in her adorable, strapless formal as I pinned on his boutonniere.
I hate to admit that he gets his inherent nervousness from me. Now I’m afraid he may get poor manners from me as well.
Regardless, the boutonniere stayed in place and it sounds like they really had an incredible time. Riley has survived his first date all on his own. I’m so proud of his bravery – so willing to take his girlfriend out on his own when all his friends had plans that didn’t work with Natalie’s cheerleading event.
Now we’ll just have to see if they’re still an item come Monday…
OMG that is so adorable so worth the looooooong wait for another blog post. Warren thought that maybe Roger's parenting would include a condom and quick lesson with a banana.
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