I have a lot to marvel at... over a few glasses of wine... in the midst of the midnight hour...

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Invisible Boundaries

“High school is SO much better than middle school”, proclaimed Riley one recent evening while we were feverishly preparing a late dinner.

Curious to know everything about my firstborn’s new world, but cautious not to reveal my all knowing desire, I nonchalantly asked what made this leap to high school so grand.

A devious grin and an all knowing nod from Roger revealed the secret pleasures of entering high school… a school full of older and hotter girls!

A simple smile of my own could not be contained.

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With the first school dance right around the corner Riley is contemplating taking a date to Homecoming… or perhaps he will simply go with all his friends. I am dying to know what he decides but practicing patience and feigning only minimal interest.

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The first football game of the season resulted in disappointment and anger. Although the tears were kept at bay his gym bag did fly across the room once he entered the emotional sanctuary of his own home. Four months of daily practice and conditioning and tireless effort found Riley (and many other players) on the sidelines most of the game, despite the 12-6 win.

No lectures on life and fairness escaped my lips. A simple back rub, a special dinner in bed and an “I’m so sorry” proved to be the right remedy to get him back up and motivated to play. He was back on the field and played in Game 2 (another win) – the first game’s disappointment almost forgotten.
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These high school moments I cherish – a glimpse inside Riley’s teenage life. This life I am responsible for, a life I love more than life itself, a life that holds my heart in his hands each time my firstborn walks out my front door.

I can, no longer, remedy Riley’s hurt feelings with a phone call to a parent or a coach. He no longer needs me to follow the bus or even see that he gets to school on time. It would not behoove me to attend homecoming with Riley and his friends. And I have been banned from running out on the field should Riley get hurt in a game.

In this new world I battle my longing to lead and control a life that is not mine; but this is a life that I played a large part in creating. Hence, my desire to cross over that invisible boundary – that blurry line drawn in the sky – the line that denotes where my control ceases and Riley’s choices dominate – a line mottled with guidance and wisdom, rights and wrongs, rules and boundaries, and an abundance of love and acceptance. But a line nevertheless, that binds my control and opens the door for Riley to define his path in life, express his own desires, challenge his own independence, and define his own identity.

So I treasure those moments where I am invited into this convoluted teenage world but I am careful not to intervene beyond this invisible boundary when unecessary. I walk this line, this invisible boundary, with caution: I offer guidance, support, friendship, love and acceptance and I offer the freedom to live your life to the fullest.

Welcome to high school!


Monday, September 21, 2009

Just the Facts About a Poop

It’s a well known (and often perplexing) fact that the topic of many conversations with my sisters and my dearest of friends centers around poop. It’s all a bit too much information for our husbands and they usually clear the room suddenly, obviously disturbed when our idle chit chat takes this inevitable turn.

So this post should simply feel like a routine conversation for most of you – but should I be actually telling you this news of the day we all know it would simply be a segway into a much deeper conversation revolving around poop and ultimately digressing into other bodily functions. But for the squeamish at heart who may be reading this I will leave you with this simple fact…

Nico pooped in the potty!

Enough said… until the next time we talk…

Friday, September 18, 2009

Dibs and Drama

A trip to the movie store turned into an insatiable craving for Dibs (bite sized, chocolate coated ice cream treats).

Hope spotted these delectables in the check out counter and her ravenous desire to devour the small tub took over. An unsuccessful argument ensued…

I would not buy the Dibs at Blockbuster for a mere fortune, but I agreed to walk next door to the grocery store and purchase a full size tub of Dibs (promising an abundance of flavors) for a fraction of the cost. And just to make it more enticing (and stop the incessant demand for Dibs NOW) I vowed to buy two tubs of Dibs.

All to no avail…

The whining and threatening intensified. Crocodile tears threatened to make an appearance and I was banned from all future birthday parties and was the recipient of multiple threats of life long silence.

But there was no silence…

The threats persisted and the drama became exaggerated: slumped shoulders, feet dragging, tears immanent, and a last dying wish for a measly (albeit costly) tub of Dibs.

Apparently Hope was not going to live to make it the mere 30 second walk to an abundant supply and multiple flavors of Dibs. Fifteen minutes of failed reasoning and futile bribes fell upon the deaf ears of my determined child.

A final dramatic plea plagued with threats and retaliation (a few mere feet from the ice cream isle in the grocery store) prompted me to recant my generous offer and firmly walk (ok, drag!) Hope out of the store, buckle her in the car, drive her home and put her in bed.

No movies, no Dibs!

I promised that you would not die if I did not buy you Dibs at Blockbuster but because you were convinced that your fragile body would surely wither away without them I offered to buy you twice the amount just a few feet away.

You threatened to cut off all communication yet you continued on and on and on demanding Dibs at Blockbuster.

Oh Baby Girl! I cannot wait until you learn the logic of reasoning. But I suppose that you cannot learn this lesson without a bit of drama. Perhaps this performance was the first step towards your understanding…

And people say that teenagers are hard to reason with… they obviously have not conversed with Hope!

Persistent and relentless my baby girl is! (I have no idea where she gets that from so I default the blame to Roger J ) When Hope finally grasps the concept of logic and reason and incorporates those skills into her manipulatives we are all in for a serious bout of trouble.

And yet I wouldn’t trade any of this for the world. I have a confident, determined daughter temporarily hell bent on Blockbuster’s Dibs.

Your persistence (once perfected), your logic (once learned), and your reasoning (once honed) will take you far. I love you more than you know baby girl – drama and all!

Sunday, September 13, 2009

Baby Girl is off to Kindergarten

I simply cannot believe that my baby girl...

went off to kindergarten this week...


Hope will always be my baby girl - from newborn to toddler, off to kindergarten, middle school, high school or college - forever my baby girl!

Saturday, September 12, 2009

Finally… Finleigh!

With the news of Barb’s impending induction we scurried to Seattle (on Monday).

And we waited…

We spent Barb’s birthday celebrating their last night at home without a baby.

We assembled the crib, ironed the sheets, straightened the ruffle, tied bows on the bumper and basked in all the intricate details and individual design that went into completing Baby Renker’s nursery.

And we waited…

A failed attempt to induce at the clinic sent Barb to the hospital to be induced with an alternate method (on Tuesday).

We were so excited to soon meet our niece or nephew.

And so we waited… (and drank some wine).

And waited… (and drank some more wine).

Pitocin was finally started (on Wednesday).

We were excited once again.

And then we waited…

Pitocin was stopped.

Pitocin was started.

Other methods to induce were attempted.

We went shopping at Target.

And we waited…

Pitocin was started again (on Thursday).

And we waited…

We finally saw some slow progress.

And so we settled in to wait…

But a very, very short time later we listened with our ears pressed against the door and screamed in celebration when heard the news – it’s a girl!

Finally… Finleigh Rae!

Mama and Papa are madly in love with their beautiful babe and are clearly crafting a brand new Love Story – with their daughter, Finleigh Rae, as the shining star of this enchanting tale.

To see pictures of my one and only niece click here - absolutely adorable.

Friday, September 11, 2009

My Mental Madness

Here is a recap of a typical summer day which should explain some of my mental madness.

I try desperately to arouse a sleepy teenager for football without reducing myself to threats (which we both know hold very little truth). I begin to dread the upcoming school year which requires Riley up at 6:00 a.m. for a bright and early 7:00 a.m. start. I realize I haven’t even seen the worst of this early morning routine yet. I ponder my options – allowing Riley to be late for school over and over until he finally figures out he won’t pass his freshman year by arriving two hours late every day… withholding his allowance if I have to enter his room more than twice to get him out of bed and in the shower… resigning myself to the fact that regardless this is going to be a continuous battle… and worse, realizing that I will also have to awake at the crack of dawn now and finding myself really dreading this school year altogether.

We argue over when football starts – Riley desperately trying to sneak in a few more moments of sleep while my blood begins to boil, rapidly raising my blood pressure… I have rearranged my entire work routine all summer, meticulously monitoring the ever changing football practice schedule, driving to and from work all through out the day minimizing the times Riley has to walk – all because I feel guilty that he has to walk home after 4 hours of football only to turn around again in a few short hours for his next round of daily doubles.

Yet my expertise on the practice schedule has been questioned and I no longer feel guilty but rather encouraged by the thought of actually working a full 8 hours without interruption as I resolve to make Riley find his own transportation to and from football. My guilt suddenly subsided when my expertise was doubted and I no longer feel obligated to give him a ride.

But as I drop Riley off at football (hopefully for the last time) he thanks me for the ride and then begins to chat a bit while he waits for others to arrive. He asks me if I have to stay home today with Hope because of his practice. I do (he watches Hope on Fridays except when he has practice) and he asks if he can watch her in the afternoon for me so I can get some work done.

My guilt surrounding his intense football schedule quickly returns – pumping adoration through my heart and clouding my better judgment. Ahhh, what a sweet teenager I have. I will at least see that he gets a ride home today and then I will reconsider cutting off my generosity should another early morning argument ensue.

One Last Summer Trip to the Beach

Our last summer weekend found us relaxing at the beach, enjoying some unexpected sunshine, swimming in the ocean, listening to the roar of the waves, and relishing in the salty ocean air.



To get a glimpse of our weekend click here.




I'm a Big Boy Now

Our littlest babe finally decided to pee in the toilet (twice) tonight!


Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Back To School

Tuesday brought an end to our summer. Relaxed days at work, lazy mornings at the beach, multiple visits from family and friends, a memorable trip to Hells Canyon resulting in a newfound tradition, the anxiously awaited birth of Finleigh Rae Renker – all the delights of these sunny days have a come to a close. Hope and Riley are off to new schools – new friends, chaotic schedules and unforeseen adventures now abound.

This summer has been magical and bursting with new beginnings. We found ourselves gainfully employed in a time of uncertainty and we relished in the delights of now fairly independent children – camping at Hells Canyon, weekends in Seattle, trips to the sunny beach and endless days splashing in our backyard pool. With one final trip to the beach and a healthy, happy and gorgeous addition to the extended family I am almost ready to return to our “normal” where busy schedules define our days and a semblance of structure keeps us balanced.

All too soon we will awake to dark gray days and meander through 9 months of damp, dreary weather. Our routines will move indoors, we will soon close our windows one final time and we’ll dust off the sweaters and boots when the rains eventually appear. The start of school suggests this transition is imminent but the busy schedules and dreary weather won’t dampen our outlook. We anxiously await the delights of the school year – new friends, perhaps a new teenage love interest, freshman football games, high school basketball, a newly licensed driver, a big kindergartner, ballet, tap, jazz and gymnastics and even swimming lessons for the littlest babe.

Plenty to keep us entertained until the sun makes it next appearance and the pool takes center stage in our yard once again. We are officially “back to school"!