Riley's Big Sister

I’d like to introduce you to Riley’s Big Sister...

Yes, that’s ME! (Confused? Do read on for a bit of clarity and so you can share in my elation...)

Not only was today Roger’s birthday it was also the day that Riley has long anticipated. Today was the end of his two year stint with braces.

While both of those events are exciting I found them overshadowed by my own chance encounter today.

As we prepared to leave the orthodontist office for good, after many, many trips across town for checkups, loose brackets, more rubber bands, etc., the entire orthodontist team all came out to congratulate Riley on his successful completion of orthodontia. After hugs and well wishes they had one final question.

“So…” the receptionist slyly muttered. “We just have to know… to ease our minds around here and put our questioning bets to rest… are you Riley’s sister?”

You can only imagine my delight as I proudly announced that I actually gave birth to this boy 14 ½ years ago.

They were confused. All bets were off. A late team member arrived at the end of this conversation (while I laughed and the rest of the team gawked) and asked, “So, what’s the verdict”.

They didn’t believe me proclaiming that I must have had him when I was 12. “I simply did not look even close to old enough to possibly be this teenager’s mother”.

I think I will miss that orthodontist office after all!

As thrilled as I was to hear those sentiments today Roger was just as equally disturbed. Does that mean he looks old enough to have a daughter my age???

But back to the real event of the day…

Can you believe this adorable boy with crooked teeth...

(He appears to be perturbed at the prospect of getting braces)turned into this young man with straight, sparkling pearly whites?

(And delighted to finally be rid of them!)

He’s so lucky to have such a great big sister (if I must say so myself!).

The Past and the Future Come Together in the Present

I awake to the sweet smell of a baby tightly embracing me in a bear hug and an excited 5 year old anticipating what this day’s activities will entail; I arouse a sleepy teenager who wants nothing more than a few more hours of sleep.

Diaper changes, temper tantrums, new discoveries, emerging vocabulary, and lots of cuddles from my lover boy…

Singing, dancing, pony tails, braids, and barrettes, colorful masterpieces filled with letters and love notes from my girly girl who so desperately wants to read…

Shuttles to and from practices, a schedule full of games, late nights completing homework, orthodontist and dermatologist appointments, a lively house full of friends, a mother/son relationship redefined to as Riley enters high school…

These events define my days.

Each child’s character is unique and their needs all distinct; a full spectrum of emotions, phases, freedoms and nurturing - determined by their respective ages, genders and personalities.

I am incredibly blessed to encounter this diverse spectrum of events each day.

I am privileged to see the past and the future come together in the present.

I am reminded each day that Nico will grow out of his temper tantrums and will all too soon be passing up the cuddles and loves for other entertainment as Riley and I discuss the girls in his life or marvel at the latest XBOX creation together.

I am presently watching my oldest son grow into a young man yet I am constantly reminiscing about my firstborn as a babe as I watch my youngest babe toddle through life.

Hope’s confidence and attitude will serve her well in life but have me terrified of what her teenage years may bring – but I am comforted because Riley is patient with his novice mother as I discover what it’s like to be on the other side of the parent/teenager relationship - so I hope to hone my teenage parenting skills and glean practical tactics that will be applicable with my girl who is in a league all her own.

I convene in the full circle of parenting head on each day... from babies to children and even teenagers. And with each child, each day, I am brought back to their younger years where innocence prevailed and their arrival was surreal; and as I look ahead to what their future may hold and wonder what their dreams may entail, I am continually reminded of the circle of life and prompted to enjoy the present - for all too soon I will find my self with an empty nest.

Hotel Days with My Honey

Sometimes Roger and I will meet for a spontaneous lunch date during the week. We enjoy the reprieve from political nuances and difficult coworkers - our tension fades as we lose sight of our work day woes and find delight in our time alone. Every once in a while we are so enthralled in this bliss that we find ourselves ditching our afternoon of work and opting to spend some quiet time together in the comforts of a luxurious hotel. As the idyllic afternoon turns to evening we find ourselves missing our children so we pick them up from school and, to their utter delight, announce that we’re going to a hotel where we can spend the entire evening swimming in the pool and watching cable TV. A quick trip home to feed the dog and pick up swim suits and we are off on a mini vacation that started out with just us – an uninhibited young couple – to a family of 5 relishing in the simple delights of life.

We celebrated Roger’s 38th birthday with a slight twist on our hotel days. With our beloved friend and babysitter primed for a sleepover we stayed in a luxury hotel downtown – without the children. We shopped, enjoyed drinks and appetizers, dined at one of our favorite restaurants, and tapped off the evening in the hotel lounge discussing our life, sharing our dreams, and loving our life together… ultimately concluding our vacation with the champagne brunch at the Benson Hotel.

Does life get any better than this? These are moments I want to remember forever… the moments where we take time out of our busy lives to enjoy each other and focus on our relationship… the moments where I remember why I married this wonderful man… the moments where I fall madly in love all over again… the blissful moments that can so easily get lost in the mundane reality of life’s responsibilities… the moments that could so easily be lost after 16 years together. These are just a few of the special moments that remind me of our commitment to each other and I am intensely fascinated by Roger’s willingness to invest in us. These moments are part of our reality and I am deeply, passionately in love with my husband.

I love you Roger – Happy 38th Birthday!

The Downpour Before the Sun

In all honesty the events leading up to Hope’s recital found me feeling dreadfully frazzled.

I worked from home on Friday in hopes of completing my work in a timely manner and, minus the commute, I could promptly turn my attention to preparing Hope for her recital. My vision of a smooth transition from work to childcare went south quite quickly. Seriously, who can truly work from home when children are present? It’s Murphy’s Law… as soon as I’d get immersed in a spreadsheet or on a conference call my kids start violently fighting or decimating something valuable. I got very little work done but it eventually came time for me to switch gears and focus on recital preparations. Hope’s superstar attitude kicked into full gear (seriously, this is just preschool dance – no need to treat me like your personal assistance who does it all wrong) and we battled it out until we both ended up in tears. I spent a fair portion of the afternoon dabbing her eyes with a cold wet cloth to erase the tear stained redness. When we were finally all loaded into the car we spent 2 hours in the pouring rain and horrible traffic making our way (albeit slowly) to Auntie Sarah’s to drop off Nico. I sent multiple text messages complaining to Sarah so someone else could wallow in my pity right along side me. I was panicking that we’d be late for Hope’s performance. With Sarah’s house right around the corner I slightly relaxed… until Roger passed Hawthorne and then the visions of running him over came flooding into my mind.

But Sarah always comes through for me. She always saves the day… she is my super hero! She met us at the car where I nearly threw Nico at her while the car was still moving. In turn, she handed me a mason jar filled to the brim with her signature peartini, complete with an umbrella secured at the top with a rubber band. Seriously, where does this girl come from? I was dropping off my toddler who defines the terrible twos – she’s the one who really needs the peartini!. Yes, she is my own personal super hero!

Needless to say, the rest of the evening went off without a hitch. (You should really try one of her peartinis!)

Sarah took Nico to play with Trey and had a blast watching them slosh through the rain as they got soaked – without a care in the world. They danced, they sang and just had one heck of a good time. She allowed them to be kids – unaffected by a little bit of rain, resolving their own conflicts using fists and words, encouraging song and dance to make the moments memorable all while probably relishing in the fact that she can give him back to me after a few blissful hours (just when he’s good and tired and crabby). But after drying off with a blow dryer (it’s great entertainment for kids… try it!) Nico promptly fell asleep with a bottle in her guest room – exhausted from his play date.

My big sister never ceases to amaze me. She’s always volunteering to help when I have to leave town. The moment I admit I’m overwhelmed she’s at my house to help. When I’m frazzled and running late she knows just how to calm my nerves (with a peartini, of course!). She brings banana cream pie and turtle pie over at a moments notice to celebrate Roger’s b’day. What do I offer in return? Well, um, maybe… uh… I did restock her wine cabinet the other night. I think I’ve done her taxes 2 or 3 times. I always give her my old TVs. Ok, it doesn’t compare to the nurturing she gives me. I suppose it’s just in her nature to dote on me as my big sis. Take note though younger siblings: my nurturing skills are all tapped out with multiple Gronkes so don’t expect too much from me as your nurturing big sis. It seems I haven’t been as blessed in the nurturing department… something I definitely need to work on! Yes, you can even hold me to it now that I’ve admitted to it…

Sarah brought me sunshine amidst a torrential downpour (literally and symbolically). And how appropriate... Hope's dance was titled "Here Comes the Sun". One of life's little coincidences...

Here Comes the Sun

My little superstar performed on the big stage at the Newmark theatre downtown in front of 300+ onlookers, dancing a perfect routine, executing a flawless solo spin, set to the beautiful music “Here Comes the Sun”… I couldn’t be prouder - Hope is my sunshine!

A Big Boy Bed for Our Littlest Babe

I am suddenly finding myself in the midst of an arduous transition, albeit one that suggests some advantages are just around the corner (this finds me fractious nonetheless)… soon enough we will encounter a budding personality, words that clearly convey a child’s needs and less waste filling up our landfills as we progress from disposable diapers to toilet training.

But right now I am mourning the loss of 13+ hours of uninterrupted slumber as our babe soundly slept tucked away in safety of his crib. Moving our babe to a big boy bed was an evolution I have seen coming for some time now. Nico unveiled his ability to climb out of the pac-n-play during a visit to Barb’s earlier this month. Shortly thereafter he put his new found escaping skills to work in his crib. I was eager to make the move to the bed out of fear – worrying he would harm himself on one his less than graceful descents out of the crib.

In my eagerness to rid myself of the last of our baby furniture and make Nico’s sleeping environment fit for the big boy he has become I failed to mentally prepare myself for the bedtime struggle that deep down I knew would undoubtedly ensue.

You see, we have gone from…

Reading books, saying a silent prayer, giving loves, bottles and binkies followed by 13+ hours of blissful sleep…

To…

Hours of encouraging our babe to lie down, demanding he keep the light off and return his toys and other potentially hazardous office supplies back to their rightful place, eventually tightly embracing our babe until he finally succumbs to sleep late into the evening… only to hear him rise in the wee hours of the morning.

Which leaves me exhausted and emotionally drained as I watch my babe struggle to understand his new surroundings, longing for the day he (hopefully) eventually realizes his big boy bed may not confine him but serves the same purpose as did the comforts of his crib.

I wouldn’t trade any of this for the world but when my vision of gently rubbing my sleepy babe’s back as he quietly falls asleep and learns to find comfort in his new bed, instead turn into a late night rendezvous, my patience wears thin. So for now I have resolved to find comfort in knowing this is all temporary – all too soon he’ll be going to bed without even a goodnight cuddle and I will indeed miss these days.

An Elusive Horizon

My much anticipated wait for a drastic reduction in daycare expenses appeared to be looming on the horizon. That ominous horizon was just beginning to shine its light and I could feel myself approaching those glorious rays of sunshine. I was making plans to reinvest in savings and start those obligatory home improvement projects… and I was thrilled to know I would not be riddled with ridiculous monthly payments that make my mortgage look a mere trip to Starbucks. I planned my life and my budget around approaching this glorious horizon as Nico approached the 2 year mark and Hope made her kindergarten debut.

But today I discovered that my budget will continue to suffer and be completely dominated by daycare expenses for at least another year to come. My imminent horizon where I was seeing colorful rainbows and pots of gold suddenly turned into a long windy road filled with ghouls, goblins and evil budget phantoms.

Part time care turns out to be no less expensive than full time care. My frustration with this inequality compels me to have Hope put off kindergarten for a year. If I’m paying for it I might as well use it.

And in order for Nico to maintain consistency with his teachers and classmates he must remain in toddler care for another year. Is he too young to stay home alone?

Perhaps Riley can drop out of school and babysit for a small fee. He’d be the best paid teenager out there so it’s best I not even mention this option or we might just both opt for this plan.

In the end I keep coming back to my reality where excellent and consistent care are of my upmost priorities as a working mother so I will bite the bullet (albeit a bit disgruntled) and offer up one more year of budget sacrifices in order to ensure my children’s well-being and maintain my sanity as I go to work each day.

So now I am praying for peace and wishing for a winning lottery ticket – determined to make the trek up to that glorious horizon eventually despite this unanticipated detour.

I am also taking donations… :)